There are two things guaranteed to get the Scottish public out on a Saturday night; curry, beer and a quiz.
There are three things that are guaranteed to get the Scottish public out on a Saturday night and we decided to combine them in a curry/quiz night with us running the bar. Ronnie Biggs in charge of the Bank of England I hear you cry but Big Graeme has stepped up to the crease and he plays with a straight bat. He made the schoolboy error of volunteering to organise the bar, licences, permits, legal niceties and all the red tape. We as a group stepped back and let him get on with it, the Unelected Social Committee began organising all the brouhaha that goes along with it; plates, forks, questions, glasses and decorations galore.
On the evening in question the usual suspects were helping by staying in the pub and all us helpful bods were getting in the way of Graeme and Lesley who had it all in hand. Everything was going well until the numbers didn’t add up, not enough chairs. The kids found some in the basement but they were clatty so before you know it I’m pulling on the Marigolds and getting my scrub on. James the Hat and the Kids took over as I went in search of beer.
The hall filled up quickly and it soon became apparent that we had a hit, everyone who said they were coming came and a few turned up at the door on speck. The bar was doing a roaring trade and I got out of the way and let it, my ‘help’ had resulted in four bottles of whisky that were turning the whisky drinkers onto rum in droves. The Quizmistress began the proceedings and the serious part of the night began. We had asked Disco Dave to do the questions but he was unavailable and the Medic had stepped in but a family bereavement saw him called away, Hazel (the wife) took up the microphone and began with a section on flags. The Pipey and his cronies were cheating outrageously but there was little other evidence of phones apart from Douglas who was using his to light the table. Clock had been enlisted by a table of teenage lassies and wee Evan, they were on track for a good score. There were very serious teams and not so serious teams and blootered teams, one team even had a baby in it. The questions came thick and fast until the curry arrived from Original India and every team sent a representative to keep an eye on it.
The decision to serve rather that let everyone dig into the food was a life saver as the average Jock when faced with a mountain of curry and pizza will just keep piling it on ’til the plate bends and hell mend the guys at the back of the queue, as it was the latecomers had their curry sans meat even though those at the front were very frugal and gracious.
My whisky blunder saw Mikey being dispatched to the Co op for a ‘nice’ bottle and Big Davey sent someone for a bottle of Prosseco which evaporated so he liberated one from the raffle and hoped I hadn’t noticed, no Prosseco was another oversight of mine and I’m going to overlook his villiany this time. About now I got a text from my son to say he could hear his maw from the foot of the village. Mortified!
The quiz resumed and the team of Douglas and Alan ultimately won. Clock and the teenagers were second , defeated by the pernicious wren. The biggest cheaters came in last proving the old adage, my team had the baby in it so although we had the best decorated answer sheets we weren’t in the top five.
James the Hat would like to thank everyone who subsidised his ‘nice’ dram and I would like to thank the Dickie family for their hard work. The band would like to thank everyone who attended and we promise to have a sports round and questions on TOWIE next time.
Next up is the Indoors at Sanquhar